What A Stupid Bitch

I read Michelle Malkin’s blog because I hate myself and because the comment section is on par with Barnum’s for providing entertainment by means of a freak show. It’s a mix of old people and really old people, most of whom self-indulge in fantasies about pitchfork uprisings and getting to fight the ‘commies’ out to take their guns away. Malkin herself is mediocre as far as pundits go, which is what makes her blog such a delight. She tries so hard to be the one driving the short bus, but while Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh clearly run the rodeo, Malkin is left with nothing but the attention that comes from blowing one of the rodeo clowns. This is, after all, the woman who accused Dunkin’ Donuts of supporting terrorism

I found her post today to be a special treat because she decided to “take on” the Hollywood establishment, and more specifically, Robert Rodriguez and his upcoming “Machete” film. From Machete: Hollywood Takes On Arizona With Race War Movie:

I think it’s safe to go ahead and give this a “10-plus” on behalf of full-time movie critic and fuller-time moron Roger Ebert, don’t you?

I’m still trying to figure out if Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be in the movie or if she just wandered onto the set. As you can tell by the line “We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us,” Jessica Alba is portraying Malcolm X’s mentally-challenged step-granddaughter, Lolita X.

Insiders have also told me that Sean Penn was offered a part but had to turn it down because he’s in Venezuela filming Milk II: The Hugo Years.

The cruel irony is that, if you’re opposed to the Arizona immigration law and go to see Machete, they will check your papers:

I find this interesting for two reasons. One, she’s clearly misidentified Ebert’s signature “thumbs up/thumbs down” rating system for “10-plus” (whatever the fuck that means), even though “thumbs up” is one of the most recognizable critic devices in popular culture. But the second reason I find this so amusing is how satire flies so far above Malkin’s head it takes a shit in her eye with her being none the wiser. I don’t need to explain to you why Malkin is so off-base in this posting, but I do think that somebody should explain to this poor woman: A) Blaxploitation films, B) Those aren’t little people trapped in that box (no, caveman!), and C) If you catch anything this weekend about a special ops agent who dies trying to thwart a terrorist plot, there’s no need to organize a vigil, it’s just MacGruber.

For those who haven’t seen the expanded “Machete” trailer, I’d say it’s a real hoot and a holler.


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