ABC’s “Whodunnit?” looks so bad Matthew Perry could star in it

The NBA finals gave ABC a lead in the ratings this week , which they used to humiliate themselves by airing promos for this piece of clown shit called “Whodunnit?”

It’s a murder mystery reality show about a fake murder:

Because I was completely incapacitated with wanting to see San Antonio slap the smug look off Lebron James’ face, I could only form partial thoughts whenever the promo aired:

Dinner theater reject jerkoffs… ghost hunters if they used focus groups…. what is this CW?… how do you blow a lead with 26 seconds???

When grown people who aren’t actors pretend to be in life-threatening situations in which they clearly know they are not, it’s a special kind of stupid. It’s like whenever somebody does one of those “children’s news” broadcasts where kids dress in suits and read news stories, you either have to pretend you’re an imbecile and enjoy it or succumb to feeling embarrassed on behalf of everyone involved.

Having a show involving forensics (a field of science) performed by people who appear to have auditioned via YouTube (a field of gregarious slothfulness) isn’t a bad idea, neither is taking a show like CSI and replacing the actors with ex-cheerleaders and bounty hunters, or adding some British douche rooster named “Giles“, or setting it in broad daylight in a house called “Mystery Manor”, or… wait, those are all terrible ideas.

whocrap

“Whodunnit?” premiers at 9PM this Sunday. Thank God they waited until after Game of Thrones ended so I wouldn’t be forced to choose.

(Pic courtesy of the official “Whodunnit” Twitter)

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