Mac’s Top Ten Horror Scenes

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…

BOYS AND GIRLS…

MIKE MACINTOSH!!!

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Handing in assignments after deadlines is par for the course with this guy, so here we go with my favorite horror scenes 5 days after its relevance. Since some of the scenes I wanted were nowhere on the net, this sort of became best directed horror scenes that I can find. Example: the Room 237 bathroom scene from Kubrick’s The Shining. Shockingly, the TV movie version that I found just didn’t fit the bill. Check that out though if you can because the kid’s reactions are so god awful that it could be intercut with the Dennis the Menace movie and it would somehow make sense. Child actors are the worst. Learn the craft or get off the set, dummies. Why can’t midgets look more youthful and less weird? Anyway, I tried to not include too many finales because it became a bit easy when using them…

While High Tension isn’t one of the best movies [thanks to an unfortunate story choice, aka twist, aka all executives should chop off their own heads], it’s most certainly one of the best directed horror films of the last 10 years. I’m also a big fan of titling a movie simply by how it makes you feel. They should change The Notebook to Sad and Gay or Blackhawk Down to VOOOOOOM BANG BANG AMERICANS AHHH KABOOM SENSORY OVERLOAD RATATAT HELL IS REAL AND IT’S THE CONTINENT OF AFRICA ARGHHH:

While I consider the first kill in Tobe Hooper’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre to be the most unsettling kill in all the horror land [the sliding door mallet smash], this scene works better on its own for all of its wonderful wtf’ery magic. Noting all of Hooper’s mediocre work since TCM, it’s hard to argue that this film wasn’t a wonderful accident:

This movie is just awesome. Total dude’s movie, so chicks need not apply. If your chick says she likes this movie, then immediately set her on fire because she’s A) lying, B) the Thing:

This scene is one I must’ve caught on TV as a kid because kitchen sinks still freak me the funk out. Note: to convince your girlfriend to do the dishes, use that excuse. I also use Schindler’s List as my reason for not wanting to go near the oven, but I totally made that one up. Shhh, if you keep it on the DL, you can use it! Another scene that freaked me out as a kid was the braces scene in Poltergeist 2, but unfortunately I watched that again while assembling this list. Let’s just say time makes fools of us all:

I am not a huge fan of this movie as a whole, but I think the opening is perhaps one of the greatest openings in movie history, let alone horror movie history. Also, I am partially in love with Sarah Polley:

If you have a predilection towards leg stabbing, prepare for an inappropriate boner:

One of the best monster intros. Are those Japanese people running from Godzilla? Oh, no, my apologies, it’s Koreans running from the host. Man, they just all look the same to me!:

The coupe de grace of all horror scenes is most certainly the Audition finale, but it’s become a bit cliché to add to lists like this. The finale is everything that Eli Roth wishes [and pretends] he could be, but unfortunately he’s just not Japanese enough to be that F’ed up [two Asian race burns, YES!]. Check out that scene if you haven’t ever, but in the meantime, this is my personal favorite from Audition. Much like the TCM scene, it’s just pure wtf’ery magic:

My one finale. It’s still one of the scariest scenes ever:


If you have not seen this movie you must, must, must. It is great in every way:


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