Better-Half Day: A Look Back

[Capo on second fret. 4/4 Standard “E” tuning]

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you got a fast car

I wanna ticket to quit my job

maybe we make a deal?

maybe together I can get somewhere

this is what i was thinkin’

i’ll stay home and work on my writing

something real high concept–

while you pay the bills and buy all the groceries…

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you got a fast car

i got a plan to get us out of here

been workin’ on a little screenplay

’bout a man who marries a monkey

monkey goes off and leaves him

second act twist– turns out it’s a woman

I said somebody’s gotta buy this

the monkey could be played by Julia Roberts…

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see now babe there was a problem

dealin’ with the market with the way it is

the script’s too bold for mainstream

guess i didn’t think it so hard to break in

that agent ran off with my money

apparently the guy wasn’t really plugged in

said he knew george lucas

so i took out our savings and gave it to him…

[CHORUS]

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do you remember when I was writing, writing in the dark?

mumbled so bad because I was drunk?

took a month to start that story

cuz i spent all my time on the 4chan forums

well I-ee-I… was dealin’ with writers block

and I-ee-I … don’t need you as a second mom…

Apparently there was a large miscommunication regarding N.W.B.H.D. Namely, that it was somehow a co-opting of Valentine’s Day wherein teddy bears and candy boxes would be freely distributed to better-halves. And this created a sense of disappointment and friction within our little troll-like community, at least within our little community’s better-halves. There were a few angry emails sent my way, and I don’t want to point fingers or name names but I will say that if you recently took a new better-half you should be thanking me. Disappointment and friction will soon become the background noise of your relationship so best to just git ‘er out of the way El Guitaroearly. Amirite?

My lovely little lady was sick, so it was a quiet night. We went out for dinner. She picked out a movie for us to watch, and we spent most of the night with her curled on my lap coughing and sneezing as we watched “Away We Go”. There but for the grace of God.

Until next year, better-halves. Here’s hoping fortunes change in 2010 and the day will no longer be required. Until then…

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2 thoughts on “Better-Half Day: A Look Back

  1. We ate dinner at home and watched all the behind the scene stuff on the Land of the Lost DVD, which Angel makes a very brief appearance in. Great night. Shame we have to wait a full year for another.

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