I wanted to believe we lived in a world where a child could get whisked away in a giant mylar balloon shaped like a UFO. Instead, we live in a world where parents would throw their children under the media bus for the sake of reality television. Of all things. Not even a Harley or something dipped in chocolate. A fucking reality television show.
Balloon Boy was a hoax. Larimer County Sherriff’s Deputies are going to seek criminal charges against the Heene’s, who they believed perpetuated the publicity stunt to market themselves for a new reality show.
The family of the Fort Collins boy, Falcon Heene, engineered the incident in order to better market themselves for a reality television show, Alderden told reporters at a news conference.
The incident Thursday prompted a widespread search, including the Federal Aviation Administration and the Colorado National Guard. It ended when Falcon climbed down from the attic above the garage at the family’s home.
I stopped everything for this story. When my coworker announced that a child was trapped in a giant balloon over Colorado I literally pushed my chair out from my desk, walked into the breakroom and planted myself in front of the television. “Don’t bother me,” I told my boss, pointing to the screen. “Balloon boy.” And for what?
There truly is no magic in this world. Just lots and lots of dickheads.