The Follow-Up Email


Subject: Re: “Three of Hearts” Script

Hi Sally,

My name is Joshua Brangston and I’m just following up with you about the script I submitted. It’s been about a month now and if I had to guess you probably aren’t interested in my work. You may not remember me; I’m the guy you asked to send the script about the three lonely women who rob a bank on Valentine’s Day. Since that time I don’t think there was any mix-up with my contact info; Google mail has only been down twice since I sent “Three of Hearts” to you as an attachment and I’ve been staring at my inbox pretty much day and night so forgive me if you tried to reach me and couldn’t. I recall the last email you sent was, “Thanks! I’ll be in touch” but you weren’t in touch so now I’m writing you this follow up email.

I guess I should ask if you have any feedback on what you hated about it. I know in my query letter I may have come across as having in my possession the greatest script ever written so I’m sorry if I let you down. I really didn’t mean to. I was only trying to get my foot in the door. I know the script has its problems. Some of the dialogue isn’t as great as it could be and there are a couple false-starts around the beginning of the second act but I did the best that I could. I work some pretty long hours over at the Piggly Wiggly and sometimes when I write I’m too tired to focus. But I know that’s no excuse. You expect the best and I should have delivered. To be honest, it wasn’t quite ready when I queried but I didn’t expect you to respond so soon. Timing has always been my biggest problem.

I’d like to meet with you to discuss these problems further. Do you maybe wanna grab lunch sometime? This probably isn’t customary but when I was waiting for you to reply I took the liberty of running your name through some various social networks. I then cross-referenced those listings against a number of  factors such as probable age of an assistant producer as well as the film school you most likely attended and where you would live in Los Angeles to have the shortest drive into work. When I came to the profile picture of you standing on a film set holding up a soda and laughing I was pretty sure it was you. You look so happy in that picture yet your profile quote is from a song called “I Am The River”.  I noticed the lyrics were about a girl losing herself in her dreams. That’s kind of how I feel a lot of the time; like I’m just struggling to hold onto something that I can only look at from a distance but never touch. That’s part of the inspiration I had for the script, that sense of wanting something better for yourself. Did you get that feeling as you were reading it?

From your blog postings and the comments you’ve left on your friend’s pictures I think that you and I have a lot more in common than you would think. It might be good for you to get away from Hollywood for a little while; maybe drive up here to Modesto or I could come down there or we could meet halfway in Fresno. Nothing major, just two misunderstood souls sharing food at the Olive Garden and talking. Maybe you could give me some feedback on how to make my script not so awful. Who knows, with the right chemistry we could probably make one heck of a team just you and I. I could write and you could get my work sold using your inside contacts and we could go on a trip some place really nice like Hawaii or the Carolinas. Doesn’t that sound nice? I saw that you liked your friend Brenda’s photos from her trip to Bermuda. That’s always a possibility as well.

Let me know how you feel. I know I can do better than that awful script if you’ll just give me another chance. I know I can make you proud but I need you to believe in me. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to change the script to make you like it. I don’t have my heart set on any part of it so you or your Hollywood friends can change it any way you like. Please respond with your answer about meeting up and I will call the Olive Garden to make reservations. Thank you.


Joshua Brangston (re: “Three of Hearts” Script)



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