Reality Show Pitchfest

pedobear

Title: Loli Mountain

Premise: Loli-seeking pedophiles are lured to a house where hidden cameras record their attempts to maneuver booby traps and other hidden dangers as they try to reach the children waiting on the top floor balcony.

Think “To Catch A Predator” set in the last 10 minutes of HOME ALONE. We have the pedo’s (pedophiles) who have been engaging in online discussions with our undercover officers from watchdog group Perverted Justice. The officers lure the pedo’s to a location which has been wired with various painful and humiliating booby-traps. When the pedo’s arrive at the selected house, a loli (endangered child) greets them from the top floor balcony and tells them to come inside and meet them upstairs for lemonade and a shower.

Hilarity ensues. The hapless pedophiles, desperate for their daily fix of loli, will most assuredly not waver in their quest to run the Loli Mountain gauntlet. Doors rigged with pepper spray discharge, concealed pitfalls filled with tarantulas, as well as traditional Vietnamese Panji Traps assure that the pedo will be tormented, tortured, and teased.

"We caught Pete Townsend in this last week."

"We caught Pete Townsend in this last week."

Should the pedo make it through the gauntlet, up the collapsible staircase, and past the deadly hydra, he will be greeted by the loli on a diamond-studded ivory platform where he will be showered with rose pedals and handed a check for $10,000 dollars. He will then be quickly shot in the back of the head and thrown into a dumpster.

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