In continuing with our series on intentionally bad query letters, consider DAVEY BOY! Notice the tone. It suggests jubilance, comfort, and whimsy; three characteristics which are immediate cause for contempt. I’d also like to point out that having an outline for two sequels is about as naive and presumptuous as it gets, so add it as frequently as possible.
This was my first fake query I sent back in 2008 (thank you Mr. Beard for your inspiration). Unfortunately it hadn’t donned on me then, as BitterScriptReader mentioned in an earlier post, that there are dangers in using your real name. Namely that some son-of-a-bitch might actually like it and request the script.