Bad Query Letters – “Nailing Jenn Silver”

Sometime last year I developed a fixation for submitting fake query letters in an effort to amuse myself. This is one of the many things I do throughout the week that causes my wife to shake her head while I’m laughing maniacally about why it’s so brilliant. Essentially, I try to come up with as awful a query letter as possible. Not simply bad, but something that will cause whoever’s reading it to feel bitter anger creep up their spine. It’s not as easy as it seems. A great awful query letter is more about painting a portrait of the writer than the content of the alleged script in question. I try to rely on archetypes which most readers would find annoying to think of as “peers” in the industry: jocks, homophobes, religious nuts, scifi rejects, etc. It also helps to use a good pen name along with a fake address from some god-forsaken part of the world. All and all, this makes for a great character writing exercise.

I’ve kept a collection of the 20 or so I’ve sent over the last 18 months, so I’m going to start posting them sporadically. Hopefully this doesn’t just amuse myself.

Broseph?

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8 thoughts on “Bad Query Letters – “Nailing Jenn Silver”

  1. I love it! At some of my old jobs we used to keep copies of hilarously awful query letters that were so bad we assumed they had to be pranks. Once or twice I’ve submitted terrible fake ideas to BenderSpink, but decided to stop. I figured if a fake idea of mine got requested over a real one, I’d never recover from the blow to my ego.

    Looking forward to seeing more of these!

  2. Hello there,

    I’m new to this blog, thanks to the link in the Bitter Reader’s blog.

    That is pretty funny, great job.

    My question is: did you ever get any answers for thos query letters 🙂

    Looking for more!

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